longitudinal study

While I don't have many close friends, the ones I have are quite good. These relationships are amazing because they don't suffer from atrophy during the customary long breaks between interaction. They look at 3 months of me being absent and don't seem to notice. That is not to say that they aren't aware that I've gone, but that the friendship is so much stronger than an occasional break of months or years. I am so lucky to have them.

What also impresses me is the fact that they tend to go back very far. The longer the friendship, the longer it seems to sustain a vacuum of conversation. Additionally, the friendship isn't at all tied to work, romance, location, or anything in particular besides the fact that we are friends. I suppose that is the idea behind family.

These pleasant facts coalesce to allow them to give scathing advice and insight into my life. Though I count myself as a good giver of advice, I am often at a loss to identify trends and provide suggestions in my own life. Jenny's recent observation (not recently formed, but recently restated) along with the advice of Mike and Nicky have come upon me like a schismed cloud. I can see to the other side of myself and I'm now trying to decide what to do with this information.

It's like when the shifter became excessively sloppy on the truck and I discovered that the bolts were loose. Obviously they needed to be tightened. But there were the questions of how it became this way, what tool(s) would best fix the problem, and what course of action could prevent a recurrence.

That is where I am with myself. It is clear to me where I've erred. I am sure that I could count on them to alert me if they see me on the paths that have so disappointed me in the past, but I need to do this on my own. I have to keep off the path to begin with.

One more note about friends: Other of my friends show the same resistance to atrophy, insight into my life, and Quality in general. However, they are young friendships and as such cause me to be wary. Still others show little insight, little tolerance for long breaks, or only superficial quality. I must make it clear that they are still my friends, but they are friends for other things.

Summary of main point: It isn't the mistake you make, but what you do afterward that matters. Now I am trying to figure out what to do afterward.