Yay for sales at B&N

"Doctor, doctor, I think I need glasses."
"You certainly do. This is not a hospital; it's a Burger King."

What did the computer say when the little lamb logged on?
"Ewe got mail."

What's the difference between a computer programmer and a duck farmer?
One downloads and the other loads down.

How many substitute teachers does it take to change a lightbulb?
None--they just leave it dark and show a movie.

Why is Alabama the smartest state in the Union?
Because it has four A's and one B.

Last one:

Is the left life raft the right life raft or is the right life raft the right life raft?

BONUS!!:

The little yodeler learned to yodel loudly