1.16.2009

But that doesn't make it easy

Yes, I did it. I stopped it all. I decided that I didn't want to be hurt again. But that doesn't make it easy.

Yes, I said I would not feel the lack. I don't feel the lack. I haven't felt it because it's been gone since September. But that doesn't make it easy.

Yes, I think music helps. I seek out what feels right. I play the music that says the words I can't say out loud. But that doesn't make it easy.

Yes, I am sure. I needed to do this. I left myself exposed and vulnerable and I was taken advantage of. But that doesn't make it easy.

Yes, I think about it. I am not a machine. I try to come to terms with what has happened, what it means, and who that makes me in this big mess. But that doesn't make it easy.

Don't think that it makes it easy for me.

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